John de Ruiter Podcast
Canadian Philosopher John de Ruiter is an innovative voice for spiritual evolution, teaching that life's meaning can be known and lived through "core-splitting honesty." In his teens, John awakened to foundational levels of existence. Ever since, his life and teaching have been informed by that direct knowing, a true inspiration that he encourages in others. John's meetings include silence, connection by eye-contact, and dialogue. They are an opportunity to come to rest while actively realizing deeper levels of being human, knowing what we really are, and allowing that greater reality to change our lives. More information at
Pardes Hana, Israel Meeting - May 2, 2012 Evening. 
The questioner had an experience where the structure of herself dissolved and everything was love. But when the experience dissipated, old structures returned. John explains that the experience is a beloved messenger. Instead of wanting the messenger to return, we can abide in the message it brings. When the knowing in the experience is enough, we become the same as the message. 
More information about John de Ruiter - Knowing Reality at